eardrum

“25 years blinking hazard”

Granted a seat in my silver chair, I officially spent my 25 years in the body which I proclaim is a wonderland. (Oh come on people, that’s supposed to be captivating and hilarious!) On a serious note though, I decided to face responsibilities, apologize to people I’ve b*tch-slapped, re-gain friendships and marry a fairly good looking and rich guy. (…the latter is not entirely true.)

No money involved, no party, no work either -- t’was a plain and simple birthday holiday! I had time with the family and a new condo at Serendra. Just kidding, I don’t wanna brag (that much).

The seemingly adorable “sasagurl” pretty much accomplished growing-up. I’m now the serious person that I ought to be. (Snorts!) Very much sane and sober, I’ve been “stripped” of the few hazardous vices I used to have; fortunately my seemingly cautious self had been eliminated from dating the deceitfully amazing studs of the planet we call earth. It’s a great gift to be loved for who I really am along with moi “adjusted” close-to-normal self.

It may sound boring to be living a clean and stable life, as I’ve always thought so but I’d rather have it that way than anything more complicated.  I do however accept the challenge to encounter difficult people. (Although I have my mom and dad for that role already. LOL!) Anyhoo…anyone is free to approach my office to once again wear the shoes contributing to a complicated and trying relationship. (Except for the guy I talked with on the phone last night, we’re better off as friends, I verify that.)

Thank you for the miracles in my life; the people I loved, friends, and of course the real family “Ledesma” and my extended family, not to mention the future surname yours truly will soon carry.

For my alleged improvements and recent “adjustments” please read on. Percentage of melancholic sentiments is fairly the same (If you haven’t noticed.) Am optimistic and focused at work. I promised to believe in commitments then lavish (with every sense of the word) in relationships that are for keeps. So much for skepticism. At age 25, I now hope for happy endings!

Tattoo Therapy

  Waittin’ on hittin’ BORA again!!! Christmas is the best, to that December 2006 left a mark in me and I mean that literally. It’s something I can look back on to move forward. A symbol, representation, and a memory of a certain place and time somewhere only we know.

I feel like I need to be put in an institution... a special center per se, anywhere that would cater to highly creative minds with interactions between well-rounded artists. Probably the one a particular Professor “X” or Xavier founded and established. If not, a rehabilitation clinic would do, one of the so-called institution I DON'T NEED but who am I to affirm that statement anyway? (WHAT?!) Although chances are I’ll find a group of prominent intoxicated men (hopefully hunks) that are in the verge of recovering then somehow in a world where purple bunnies and red goats exists true love will prevail after every successful withdrawal after another.

What about the ever-so-changing kindred souls? (What about them?) Two of ‘em flew abroad either to get a life or sustain one (harhar!) – I LOVE YOU! Others are at a far both dramatically and geographically or maybe opted to be exclusively distanced instead. The last but not the least went on with no remorse… ;’c Perhaps I’m itching to send a list of updates, reporting all that I have accomplished so far and what has become of a disfigured person in the form of my evolving self.(sigh)

There is such a great need to be around nice people, screw the reason why it is the hardest to find “niceness” and its successors. If I could find these angels under a rock I’d be more than willing to stay with them under any given circumstance!!! I miss a bunch of my friends… the forever-glued high school barkada of mine who all turned out to be co-workaholics too. (damn!) Mostly professionals nonetheless and are exceptionally awake 23/6 just because we are devoted (slang translation "enslaved") with what we do for a living. To top it all a shaky twenty percent of these yuppies are predicted to aim towards becoming the almost-getting-married dreamy folks…tsk,tsk,tsk!

Heart worm (un-edited)

MEREDITH: [narrating] "The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good, and twice as much pleasure is better. That pain is bad, and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something, and there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache.  And maybe that's okay. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams."

What’s sad is we aren’t in this TV series nor in a soap opera nor anything that attempts to imitate reality…what we have is the butt-naked REALITY itself. None plays the part of a mistress,

a Mcdreamy,the “nazi”,even a flirty nurse...OR IS THERE?! I ask you people, "Who will operate on  surgeons when they need it, attend on a sick doctor?" Their co-worker,co-surgeon and co-doctor themselves…no one else but themselves. Why do we get on each other then--heart worm, maybe we're infected.

Do we pick sides or not? Do we take part in the pain, the hurt that would cause another to cry endlessly at night? Sobbing that will then be masked with a smiling face in the morning. Coping and at the same time "hoping" to hide not just behind all smiles & bursts  of laughter but even in cracking  jokes you come up with, as if it’s possible to hide a death inside someone’s heart.

It's all for a good cause though...it dwells on the truth that we suffer BUT it doesn't end there. Until we see the bigger picture, the monument standing behind us, an artwork of mixed emotions accessorized with clashing personalities, we will prevail in surviving all these because due before us is a higher  learning.

As I quote (myself),"...PAIN teaches us to have the most common sense. May it be our sixth or if not the seventh sense NOT to be played by our own life's drama! DRAMA if I may say is having sympathy for a stomach ache that cannot be shared."